Nick Abbot, Virgin 1215, 1994

Caller: I've gotta go, and I'm really scared. Have you ever done it, and what's it like?

Nick: Er, no I haven't.

Caller: Why not?

Nick: I don't believe that I have. It's never er, I just haven't done it. Most people haven't done it. Why not? Just because, damn it.

Caller: Oooh, I thought you'd help me.

Nick: Well they only stick a thing in your arm and drain some blood out, what is the problem?!

Caller: I'm scaaaaared.

Nick: Nothing to be scared about. It'll be fine, there won't be any problems at all. It's er, the doctor will come in and say, 'Small prick,' and you'll say, 'Absolutely none so far,' and they'll just take it out of your arm, you won't feel a thing. Either that or they won't be able to find your vein, and they'll be stabbing and stabbing and stabbing...

Caller: uuuuuggghh...

Nick: ...and trying, 'cus this happened to me once. I had to go in for a blood test. Couldn't find my vein. I think it was a junior doctor or something like that and he was like poking around and moving the needle back and forth, and I could feel it grating against my ligaments and bones and stuff. He was like taking it out, and poking it back in, and stabbing and stabbing and stabbing... [Psycho noises] So it'll either be fine, or you'll die right there in the hospital. One of the two.

Caller: Thanks very much.

Nick: OK, you're welcome. [Laugh]

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